is an excerpt from my book: “Forgetting the things of your past, to embrace your future” – a Darlene Zschech endorsed book. Please click on the link above to read the excerpt as it appears on the book. Below I have modified it, in order that it be not the same as in my web site.
Well, it is definitely not so hard to save a marriage, provided that one or both partners are willing to do several very simple and logical steps. You see, men and women are so different, and hereby it appears that family is a hard thing to maintain, and yet exactly family is meant by God to be our greatest blessing.
Marriage should be the spiritual, the moral, the emotional, the social and the physical base, from where we shouldl launch, fulfilling God’s will and purposes for our lives. Also, Home and the Church should be the spiritual training base for the next generation – our children and children’s children, etc.
Well, do marriage and home fulfill these criteria? Rather, each of the marriage partners thinks he/she is the right one. Everyone says: “He/She doesn’t have the right to say, do, speak, act, and treat me like this. He/She is the guilty one”.
Philippians 3:13, as applied to marriage, should be paraphrased like this: Forget about yourself, and find ways to be a blessing to your spouse!
Divorce is not the solution. The next one will be absolutely the same. Communication is the key for saving a marriage.
Now, the Lord has placed in His Word a tremendous challenge in front of every family, knowing very well the structure of men and women. It’s in Ephesians 5:22-25 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”.
WOW! There’s but one requirement for men, so marriage can be a good one, and there’s but one for women. For men, the requirement is that they LOVE their wives as Christ loves the Church, even to the point of being ready to give their lives for them. In a nutshell, it can be said that if a man fulfills that part towards his wife, loving her truly, communicating with her, wooing her, being longsuffering, kind, not jealous, not envious, not proud, not seeking his own, not thinking evil, not easily provoked, rejoicing, bearing all, believing, trusting, hoping, enduring, etc (According to 1 Corinthian 13 chapter’s definition of love) – no matter what the wife is or does, he will win her and the marriage will be a healthy one. Now, ladies’ turn! The requirement for the ladies is to submit to their husbands in everything, as unto the Lord - a submission in love and grace - submission in attitude – standing next to their husbands in everything, and respecting the decisions they take. Again, if you do that, no matter what your husband is or does, you will win him and the marriage will be strong.
Now, if both husband and wife know this and are committed to be a blessing to the other, it would be perfect. There's just no faster shortcut to save a marriage. Regrettably, that’s almost never the real case. We may even wonder why the Lord wrote these verses in Ephesians 5, and why did He put that challenge before us, which is actually doing what seems (it’s not, but it seems like) contrary to our nature (both men and women), but the answer is very simple and very profound – because that’s what our partner needs. Women need all the love and affection husbands can give, and husbands need the right kind of submission in love from their wives. Simple, ha? Somebody has to do the first step though.
Well, I hope this short word blessed You and gave You at least a little direction. Please read the whole excerpt by clicking on the “Saving a Marriage” link at the beginning of this article. Thanks.
Nikola Dimitrov is a Pastor and Bible teacher and is also part of Life in Glory Church in Bulgaria. Dimitrov is also the director of In depth?Media ministry, editor-in-chief of Roma Destiny National Media, and the owner of the Metamorphu publishing company which focuses on the publication of Christian children material. More info at:
