A rewarding life is a simple creation, made up of daily acts of excellence, contribution and self-leadership. All too often, we believe that a great life requires us to do something heroic and involves a grand gesture that makes us stand out from the crowd. However, this is not the case. Instead, a richly rewarding life occurs when we commit ourselves to being excellent on a daily basis and committing small, consistent acts of 'minor greatness' which over the course of a lifetime amount to something very grand and significant. In my work as an author and leadership thinker, I have the opportunity to show people how to live their best lives and create a lasting legacy in the process. What follows are seven rules that will help you lift your life to its next level.
1. Put People Over Possessions. All of the wisdom literature essentially says the same thing: A rewarding life is defined by the quality of your relationships. At the end of your life when you are on your deathbed, you will not ask the nurse to wheel in your new car nor will you ask the orderly to cart in the money that rests in your bank account. Instead, you will ask that those you love be near you in your final moments and reflect on your memories you have all enjoyed. If this fact will be important to you then, it should be important to you now. I have found in my own life that I am at my best when my relationships are strong and I am nurturing each and every one of them. If you are finding that you lack fulfillment in your life, dedicate yourself to giving more to your personal and professional relationships and you will be pleasantly surprised at the results.
2. Never Stop Doing What You Love
One of my favorite questions is a simple one: 'What would the child you once were think of the adult that you have become?' People who live richly rewarding lives do not have wrinkled souls. They have done what it takes to maintain their childlike heart and, in doing so, bring a daily dose of passion to their hours. Further, their passion is contagious and they enlighten everyone around them. Before you go to sleep tonight, take a silent moment or two and reflect on whether you are still doing the things you love. Do you love your career? Do you have hobbies that make your heart sing? Do you enjoy the people you surround yourself with? And if you are not fulfilled in these areas, ask yourself what course corrections must you take to make changes. When we were kids, there were so many things that made our eyes sparkle and our hearts flutter. And yet, as we age, we often give up on those things for the more serious pursuits that we believe adults engage in. To renew your life, get back to doing the things that you love the most and watch your life soar.
3. Be True to You
All to often, we live the lives of other people. We do not live our truth. We engage in a career because it is what our parents wanted us to engage in. We act in a certain way because we believe that is the way society wants us to act. But the greater the incongruency between the person that you are deep down at the core and the way your public persona appears, the greater the amount of dissatisfaction you will notice in your life. When you begin to listen to your heart and show up authentically, your life will change. Stop doing things because that is what others want you to do and start living your life according to what is truly right for you as a human being.
Rather than always giving into the expectations of others, make sure you honor yourself as you live out your life. Because, at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with yourself - no one else.
4. Turn Your Wounds Into Wisdom.
All too often, we get hung up on failures. Yet failures are the highway to success and the mistakes help us learn how to succeed. As one philosopher said: "chaos gives birth to dancing stars." Or as I say in my seminars, there is nothing wrong with making a mistake - there is, however, something wrong with making the same mistake over and over again. If you fail at something, ask yourself where the opportunity lies and search out the gateway to growth. But make sure you learn from this lesson so that your past serves you and you get better and wiser each and every day.
In my own life, I have learned the most from my most difficult experiences. Adversity and suffering has introduced me to my strengths. If I experience a setback, I know that there is a larger picture unfolding and I look for the gift. Too many people get deflated in their lives because they feel the universe is unfair to them and there is just too much adversity occurring around them. The wise turn their stumbling blocks into stepping stones and use every apparently negative event to expand their personal dimensions, their wisdom and their performance levels. Remember, a failure is only a failure if you accept it as such. As always, we create our reality and we see the world not as it is but as we are. When you do the inner work to work on your own perceptions, your life changes.
5. Make Your Mark.
One of the deepest of all human needs is the need to live for something more important than ourselves. I encourage you to take a few minutes to reflect on what your mark will be when you are no longer here. How will the generations who will follow you know that you have graced this planet? What acts of courage and contribution will you engage in that will add value not only to your own life but to the lives of those around you. The good news is, it has never been so easy in the history of humanity to make your mark in the world. Through technology, one idea can transform lives everywhere. And your mark need not be made on a global level. A single person committed to helping others in a community, in a school or even in a family, is exceptionally worthy. Remember, we have a choice in this so called new economy: We can curse the darkness or we can be the ones to light the candle. Leaders always see themselves as lights.
6. Do the Inner Work.
Success on the outside is created by success on the inside. My own life changed when I got serious about doing the inner work and transforming myself as a human being. I began to look at my wiring, my perceptions, my filters and the limitations I created through my thinking. I began to read books, go to seminars, journal, and go deep in accessing the person that I was and the person that I was destined to be. No great life can be created without self-improvement. It is not a quick process but it is by far the most fulfilling one that any human being can engage in. Often we blame others for our unhappiness and dissatisfaction. But as I say in my book Leadership Wisdom from The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari 'blaming others is nothing more than excusing yourself.' And each time you point the finger at someone else, you are assigning away a little bit more of your power as a human being. And if you continue to blame others for your relationship troubles, your career dissatisfaction or your health issues, for example, eventually you will grow into a powerless human being. The moment your life changes, is the moment you step up to the plate and say to yourself 'It all begins with me.' Wise and highly evolved human beings always take complete (100%) responsibility for their circumstances and in doing so not only retain their power but set about making the changes that need to be made. Commit yourself daily to one hour spent in silent reflection or reading of the wisdom literature. Take the time to put pen to paper to map out your goals and get clarity on where you want to be four, five, ten, twenty years from now. Remember, the best way to predict the future is to create it.
7. Live on the Skinny Branch.
One of the best ways I have discovered in my own life to stay engaged, excited and enthusiastic is to inject my days with a sense of adventure and challenge. The human brain has a need for novelty. We get complacent when we keep doing the same things with the same people in the same way everyday. Interesting enough, if we do the same things with the same people in the same way everyday, our life will look the same five, ten, fifteen years from now. It is like that old saying says, if you keep doing the same things, you will certainly get the same results. If you want to see a new reality enfold for you, you must start doing different things. So today, commit yourself from your heart, to infuse your days with challenges. Begin to take small risks to spice up your professional and your personal life. Begin to read books you never thought you would read. Try foods you never thought you would try. Pick up the phone and get to know people you never thought you could meet. Take up hobbies you never thought you could do. Stretch yourself as a human being and you will be pleasantly surprised by the rewards. You will feel better about yourself, you will see new results in your life and you will have an incredible amount of fun. Remember, on your deathbed, what will fill you heart with the greatest regret will not be all the risks you took but all the risks you did not take. Or as Papa Wallenda, the great highwire walker once said: 'Life is lived out on the wire, the rest is just waiting.'
Robin Sharma, LL.B., LL.M., is one of the world's top experts on leadership and personal development. The author of ten major international bestsellers including The Greatness Guide Series, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. Robin is the founder of Sharma Leadership International Inc., a global training firm with a simple mission: to help people Lead Without Title. Profiled regularly on leading international media such as CNN and MSNBC, clients include GE, Nike, FedEx, NASA, Unilever, Microsoft, BP, IBM, The Harvard School of Business and Yale University. His website is one of the most popular leadership and personal development destinations on the Internet.
